Tissue Paper

I considered tissue papers as one of the cheapest things available today and it is one of the things I over use without thinking twice, until the day JJ and  I stepped into a restaurant for  lunch.

 So there is this restaurant where you  get good fish curry meals (JJ’s obsession and favorite), and because of that single reason I was forced to step in there (still am forced to do that). There is nothing wrong with the restaurant, it is moderately clean, and the waiters are receptive and cultured and of course you  get good fish curry meals there. The only problem (to me at least) I found with this place is that they consider tissue papers to be something really really precious. 

For example before or after your lunch, if you want to (it is not compulsory) wipe your hands. You have to take 4 seconds, which is the walking distance from your table to the counter. Stand before the accountant and in a very humble tone ask him this, “Chetta (brother), tissue” (remember humbleness is the key word here). He will look at you and mark grade for your humbleness and with much difficulty he will take a tissue from the drawer.  And if you need one more again have to double your humbleness and then ask, “Chetta, onu koode (one more). He will give you an expression as if you have asked him for a kidney of his. Don’t lose heart because it is your need. He might show you long face or sometimes he might ignore your request, but again don’t lose your heart. 

I can’t stop going to this restaurant because this is the only place near my office where you will get yummy fish curry meals at a very reasonable rate .
So these days what I started doing is I stopped asking for tissues, and stared carrying my own tissue papers or handkerchief to the restaurant. That is the tip I can give to all those who visit this place “Carry your own tissue papers, if you don’t want to get stared at.”

Click: JJ

A lost girl's guide to getting through a day at the in laws family function

Meet your boyfriend’s mom at his sister’s engagement function.  He will introduce you to her, throw a smile at her, just that and answer to the questions being asked, just that. His sister (with whom you have good rapport) will invite you to their place. Go there, but make sure that he is not there.  Also make sure that he is not gonna come back any time soon, because he is busy with his friends (who have come down just for the function and who have never met him for a long time).  Talk to his sister; make plans for the things to be done for the family dinner (before the marriage day).  Your future mother-in-law will be busy in the kitchen, cleaning and packing the remaining food along with a friend of hers.  Again throw a smile. Don’t dare to ask her ‘Aunty, need any help?’ nah… never.  Even if you realize that the work is too much of a burden for her. Just be seated on the sofa. Even after an hour of your arrival, she is reluctant to offer you a cup of coffee or tea.. Let it be.. Don’t ever feel bad. (You can have that from some chaay waalas down in the street or from some restaurant). Again pose a smile. And finally when you are about to leave she will ask you, whether you need  something for dinner and she will ask you whether anything should be packed. Just smile and say, “No aunty, I am on a diet". Spend another 10 minutes there and tell her, “Aunty I am leaving, See you on the marriage day." 

Now What I did

I went there saw my future mother-in-law , toiling  with house hold chores. I rendered a helping hand , which she readily accepted. She gave me a list of the things to be done. I who had vested interest, readily agreed to that list of hers. 

Result

After I am gone or may be after two or three days of my arrival, she spoke to future sis-in –law about me , declaring " that girl ..she was taking  too much freedom with us, see, she washed vessels she made coffee, she cleaned the kitchen, she wiped the table.. I didn't like her at all

Now you who is ignorant of all these things will go for the marriage. The bride’s place and groom’s place are in two different districts, you will have to stay at a hotel and make sure that you never talk to your boyfriend. If you are that desperate to talk to him.. Resort to the technologies available, What’s app, text messaging, Facebook.. and so on.  Even if you are aware that your future mother-in law ill-treats, again just pose a smile. If you want to, phone your boyfriend and torture him and say that am leaving. He, who is finding it hard to balance between girlfriend and mom, will either listen to all your complaints or will beg you to be at the function.  If you have a skin harder than that of a rhino, stay back, no matter, in whatever way your future mother-in law humiliates you. And on the wedding day, after getting ready don’t ever dare to visit your future sister-in-law, your mom-in-law will yell at you and will ask you to leave the room. If you have done that, and after getting yelled, just remember all those bahus in Star Plus. Don’t ever think who you are and why you came there. Just go to your room, cry and even after that you didn't get any relief, again call your boyfriend and cry over the phone. He will come rushing to your room, just hug him and cry. Again the poor thing will ask you to stay back. So for his being stay back and just ignore everybody, if you have a smart phone, then well and good, play games, browse and sit in his uncle’s car silently (make sure that you have a good rapport with his uncle and aunty). Attend the function. If you are lucky enough, there will be some other common friends of you both, who will come to attend the marriage function. Be with them. Don’t dare to go back. Just pack and run with them.

But the best thing you can do is not to attend your boyfriend’s sister’s marriage or re-think the relationship 

Warmth

When my journey through this dark tunnel called 'Life' in search of a ray of hope takes me no where

And when loneliness crawls on me

Like a python in one of  my  night mares

When I feel like the whole world conspires against me

And when realities  brood over my  uncooked brain

And because of that  reason my breath deceives me

Search for warmth doesn't seem tire me at any cost 

I am in search of warmth warmth of  your cheek against mine 

And  the warmth in those few words 

you whisper in my tender ears 

Ayemenem revisited

Novices to the strange world created by acclaimed Indian writer Arundathi Roy in her poignant Booker prize winning novel, ‘The God of Small things’ would not understand why the small hamlet of Ayemenem in the Kottayam district of Kerala would be so attractive. To those who grew up on a steady diet of her fantastical world, Ayemenem would be in the bucket list of places to visit

When I was first introduced to ‘The God of Small Things’ during my rebellious teen years, I was instantly attracted to the characters of Rahel and Estha. She seemed to be a character after my own heart and Ayemenem was like the world of Hogwarts in JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series. I never could believe that it actually existed. Years passed and I was given the chance to actually visit Ayemenem with an Estha in our photographer, Jose. I trudged along on the ever dependable Indian railways to Kottayam district from where I would land in Ayemenem. I wondered if the Ayemenem that Arundathi Roy created in her novel was just a stroke of imaginative genius and I would be sorely disappointed by what awaited me.  The first thing we noted as we battled the scorching midday sun was the paddy fields. Thick luscious green fields that stretched to miles on end like some vast ocean with an occasional electrical pole jutting out reminded me of the Malayalam films of the 70s. 

The name of the village itself sounds a little peculiar; the etymology of the name originates from Ay which means five in Tamil and Vanam in Sanskrit which means forest. So loosely translated, Ayemenem means the land of five forests. As this trivia entered my head, I wondered where these five forests were. I was told that the original five forests, Vattakkadu, Thurthikadu Vallyakadu, Moolakkadu and Mekkadu no longer existed. The little hamlet borders the Vembanad Lake and the Meenachil River, the latter which is central to the story and provides water to the villagers. As we reached the township, it appeared to be quite familiar with small shops scattered around and of course the houses. But the house I was eager to get a glimpse of was the Ayemenem House which is central to ‘God of Small Things’.

In the book, the great Ayemenem house was a place where visitors were not welcome and the central characters, the twins Estha and Rahel and their mother Ammu were sad and lonely. It was not a place where joy and laughter could be heard. My eyes popped out of their sockets as I realised that it was indeed true. Here was a place, a landmark that was as true in reality as in the novel. The house was of course big, but it was not a place which welcomed visitors with open arms. The house was dark and aloof and the day dreamer in me swore that the aroma of Paradise Pickles and jams wafted through the walls of the house. We walked past the ancient houses and reached the Ayemenem junction where the sight of a communist flag fluttering away in the wind had me reflecting on the symbolic communist movement represented in the novel. As we walked on to the small boats anchored near the water bodies reminded me of the tragic incident that changed the lives of its lonely central characters. It was the gentle reminder that we had to leave which had me return to reality and turn my back on the village.Still, leaving Ayemenem was like saying farewell to Rahel and Estha. 

Clicks: JJ